Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
