Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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