ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
