Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
