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i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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