don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
