i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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