got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
