i think my mom watched the whole time
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
