dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
