I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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