ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
