Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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