He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
ok first of all what the fuck
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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