He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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