are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
