just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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