What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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