wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
