Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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