She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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