maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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