Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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