Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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