I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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