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It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize