Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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