wrigley field is MILF paradise
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
