apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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