would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
