Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
