We're like a lot better than the average bears
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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