We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize