U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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