Sry I called you an 8
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
