I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You took a bar mat shot.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
