Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
