You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
worst night to have a conscience
she peed on how many people?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
