Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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