i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
