Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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