I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
