Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
