She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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