I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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