he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize