Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
that is very illegal...i love you.
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