woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
