Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is the high leading the old right now
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
