The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize