This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
