her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
