I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Found the puke drawer
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
