he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
