see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he was CRYING into my vagina
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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