so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
