Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
