You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
