What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
