I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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