I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
