Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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