I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
