Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
