did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
