Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
